When the Innocence Dies
by killer-fever
Summary: Raivis didn't know he was losing it until it was too late.
1. Chapter 1

Raivis hadn't even noticed when he was losing it. He thought it was all things he normally did. But, when he was sitting in the backyard and saw that bird, he had the strangest urge to capture it. So, he did. The bird fluttered in the cage for a while with Raivis watching it. He felt happy that the bird was suck in the same situation as him. It made him feel like he had a friend. But, soon after that, he grew angry. The bird had so much freedom. It could fly away if it wanted to. All Raivis needed to do was open the cage door. Raivis growled darkly. Why should the bird leave and not have to suffer like him? So, he opened the cage, reached in, grabbed the bird, watched it struggle and peck at his hand, then broke its neck. A squeak was the only sound that met Raivis' ears. He watched as, slowly, blood began to drip out of the bird's mouth. His eyes widened and he dropped it, just realizing what he had done. He felt the bile slide up his throat and he ran as fast as he could run, not even slamming the door behind him. Purple eyes silently watched him.


	2. Chapter 2

Raivis cried as he lay on the bathroom floor, collapsing after his episode. He didn't want to move. He didn't want to admit that he was becoming more and more like the man he hated everyday. But, that incident in there proved it. Proved that he was going to be like him. That he was going to get angry and hurt people. That he was going to want to hurt the ones he loved more than the ones he hated.

"Oh, Raivis. Your progress is going well," a soft but cruel voice cooed.

Raivis didn't have to look to know who the voice belonged to. He just laid there. He heard heavy footsteps approach his body and then the rustle of Ivan's heavy coat as he kneeled down. Raivis flinched slightly when those gloved hands began to soothingly run through his short hair. He kept his eyes shut firmly.

"I knew it was either going to be you or Toris who would show the first signs. I was right. Soon, you'll be just like me," Ivan's voice whispered, enhanced by the bathroom's small size.

He stood and took one more loving look at Raivis before disappearing. Raivis didn't rise from his spot for a good three hours. When he finally did rise, his knees were weak and his vision blurred slightly. Raivis clung to the wall for a total of three minutes before he walked back to his room. He completely ignored the bird that still rested on his floor.

Raivis sat down on his bed and stared at the ground. It was about ten at night and the lights were off. The only source for it was through the window that was positioned so the light would stream onto Raivis' bed. He laid back and wiped his eyes of the remaining liquid. He knew what Ivan had said was true. He was losing it all and he couldn't do anything about it.

"Fuck," Raivis muttered.

He looked over to his night stand and was contemplating turning the light on but then decided against it. He closed his eyes and waited for morning to approach.

*

As soon as Raivis awoke, he knew he wanted something bad to happen today. He wanted something bad to happen to someone he hated. Someone like Ivan. He wanted to hurt him. No, that wasn't enough. He wanted to kill him.

A smirk formed against Raivis' lips. He didn't know where this sudden urge had come from, but, he liked it. He really like it.

Raivis rose from the bed and rubbed his eyes against the burning glare of the sun. He stood and kicked the bird out of his way, not giving a second thought to it. He went to his closet and changed his clothes. After that, he went down to the kitchen to see Toris was still cooking breakfast. Toris heard Raivis' footsteps.

"Good morning, Raivis!" He said in the most cheery voice he could muster.

Raivis felt like hitting him for lying about his feeling. Raivis could see the forming bruise on his cheek and the purple marks running under the collar of his shirt.

"Morning," Raivis said.

He went over to the large knife drawer that Toris used to cut the food and opened it. Toris was too busy with the food to notice what Raivis was doing. Raivis quickly reached in and pulled out the first knife he saw. A good seven inch sharp blade. It wasn't one Toris used often so he wouldn't notice.

Raivis slipped the knife into the waistband of his boxers. For some weird reason, he liked the feel of the cool metal against his leg. It felt nice to have the slight pain of the blade almost, but not exactly, piercing his skin every time he took as step. He was about to leave the room when Toris stopped him.

"Raivis," he said.

Raivis jumped slightly. For a quick second he thought he had been caught.

"Would you take Ivan's breakfast to him?" Toris asked.

Raivis gave a silent sigh of relief and grabbed the tray that Toris had prepared. He left the room, barely hearing Toris tell him to be careful.

Raivis walked along stairs and long corridors. It took a total of ten minutes for him to arrive at Ivan's room. He knew he was going to be in here. Raivis hesitated as he stood in front of the door. After yesterday, he knew Ivan was planning to do something with him. He just didn't know what. Whatever it was, could he handle it? Would it be an opportunity to finally rid himself of Ivan.

Raivis blocked out all the thoughts and pushed open the door.

"Ivan," he said.

Raivis stood silently and saw that the room was empty. He stepped inside and decided to leave the food and get. He placed the tray down on the bedside table and turned to leave.

"Ah!" He cried, falling back onto the bed.

When Raivis looked up to see what the hell he had run into his eyes widened when he saw Ivan's smiling face looking down at him.

"Good morning, Raivis," he said.

Raivis said nothing. He tried to get up but Ivan easily pushed him back down.

"Raivis, now that you've shown me sign's I think it's time to speed up the process of your insanity," Ivan said, still smiling that smile that could only belong to Ivan.

Raivis' eyes widened as he realized just what Ivan was talking about. He tried to run but Ivan was quicker than he was. Ivan grabbed his arm and threw him back onto the bed, quickly climbing on top of him. Clothes ripped and skin broke. The sheets were slowly turning red with Raivis' blood as he continued to struggle. Without thinking, Raivis reached for the knife handle and stabbed as hard as he could into Ivan's neck.

Blood sprayed everywhere and finally Raivis was able to push Ivan off of him. Without looking back ,Raivis ran from the room and down the steps and out the front door.


	3. Chapter 3

Raivis had run long and far. He didn't care for the cold that was biting at his skin or the fact that the bottom of his feet were getting torn to pieces on sharp rocks. He ignored the fact that his lungs were burning and begging for a rest. He completely flew past the fact that he was still covered in Ivan's blood. He just ran. And ran. And ran.

Finally, Raivis couldn't take running anymore and he fell. He fell and just lay in the cold snow. It encased his body and soon Raivis slipped into a deep well needed sleep.

*

When Raivis awoke he was surrounded by warmth. He ached all over but was warm. He tried to sit up but found that it hurt to much to do. So, he lay there. Not knowing who had saved him from his cold snow covered death. Raivis closed his eyes again and waited.

He didn't have to wait long before he heard a door to his left open. Footsteps slowly walked over. He felt a warm hand on his forehead that felt very comforting. He opened his eyes to see someone he had seen before but wasn't familiar with. He knew that this man was married to Sweden or something like that but he couldn't place his name.

"You're awake?" He asked.

Raivis slowly nodded. He didn't want to hurt himself too much.

"I'm glad you're awake, Peter's been so worried about you," the man said.

"Peter?" Raivis questioned.

He thought for a moment. Where did he know that name?

"Peter!" He exclaimed, remembering now who he was.

He tried to sit up but was immediately pushed right back down by the man. He looked sternly at Raivis with a strict motherly gaze.

"You stay here and rest, I'll go and get him," the man said.

He left the room. Raivis waited patiently. He could wait to see Peter. The longer he waited the more he would appreciate actually seeing him. He twiddled with his fingers. He counted the seconds until he heard the small footsteps that he knew belonged to his best friend. The door burst open and crashed against the wall. Peter ignored it.

"Raivis!" He shouted.

"Peter," Raivis said, sitting up.

He was pushed right back down when Peter dive bombed him.

"Raivis! What the heck were you doing laying in the snow like that? You could have gotten killed!" Peter exclaimed.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to make you worry," Raivis said, running his fingers through Peter's short blond tresses.

"What happened? You're clothes were ripped and you were covered in blood, or that's what Su-Papa said," Peter said.

Toni looked at Berwald. He said nothing and walked away with his head down, knowing already he was to be scolded later. Peter paid no attention but Raivis let out a small giggle. Peter turned to Toni and with big pleading eyes he looked at him.

"Can Raivis stay here, Fin-Mama? Please!? I don't want him going back to Russia," he asked.

Toni felt his heart strings being pulled right away. After a few seconds he finally agreed and left just as he heard Peter about to throw a party.

"You're staying with me from now on! I'm going to protect you from that big jerk, Russia. Just because he's the largest country in the world and I'm still pretty small doesn't mean I can't beat him to a pulp!" Peter exclaimed, standing on the bed in a triumphant pose, not unlike Alfred himself.

"There's no need for that, Peter. I doubt he's going to be bothering me anymore," Raivis said.

Peter looked at him with a confused look. He sat back down.

"Really?" He asked.

Raivis nodded. Peter looked a little disappointed. Most likely from the loss of his big talking about how he would protect Raivis from Russia all the time and show that jerk England he could do it. He crawled up next to Raivis and wiggled under the covers with him.

"Well, I'll still be here just in case! Okay?" Peter asked.

Raivis smiled.

"Okay, he said.

Peter laid down and curled up to Raivis' side. He fell asleep rather quickly. Raivis waited a few moments before he looked under the covers and admired Peter's face. He knew that Peter was still as innocent as he could be and no one could take that from him in Raivis had a say in it. Raivis slowly traced his fingers along Peter's face and spent a little bit of time ruffling his short hair and playing with his thick eyebrows.

Raivis sighed. He never really noticed how beautiful Peter was until he actually took a closer look at him. He laid back down and winced at the slight ache of his body as he did so. When he was situated he pulled Peter close to him and breathed in his scent of sea water. He let out a happy sigh and slowly fell into a deep sleep, not to wake until morning.


	4. Chapter 4

When Raivis awoke, the first thing he noticed was a full head of blond hair and the warmth of Peter's body, warming up his own. Raivis' arms held tighter to the young boy. The scent of sea water was strong in Raivis' nose. He smiled and enjoyed the warmth the smaller boy gave to him. It felt good compared to his cold and empty bed in Russia.

Raivis' eyes opened and slit in anger.

"Russia," he whispered.

He needed to make sure that the large Russian man was dead. If he wasn't, Raivis knew he was putting Peter and his entire family in danger. Berwald may be strong but he couldn't hold off an angry Ivan. Even if his mind was set on protecting his family.

Slowly, carefully, Raivis unwound his arms from Peter and took the boy's hands off of himself. His body still ached but he ignored it, maybe even enjoyed it. Raivis put the sheets back onto Peter and quickly fled out the window.

*

Raivis knew his way to Russia. He had spent a few hours traveling from Sweden to Russia. When he finally got to the large fence that surrounded Ivan's home he began to feel nervous. What if Ivan wasn't dead? Just what if? Raivis shook his head and walked through the entrance of the fence. He approached the house and stopped. He quickly looked at the window. The curtain on the top floor rustled. Someone was watching.

"Who is that?!" Raivis demanded, more than asked.

Silence was his only reply. Raivis quickly raced up the steps and into the house. He looked around. His eyes caught a clock and saw that it was about the time where Toris would take Ivan his dinner. He probably discovered the body if there was a body, or he saw what had happened and immediately went to save him.

Raivis realized as he thought, he hated his brothers. They were weak. Pathetic. Easily pushed around. Just like he, himself, was before that one moment. Earlier that same day. Raivis hated his brothers. He wanted them dead. Just like Ivan was or is going to be very soon.

Raivis quickly raced into the kitchen. It was empty and the stove was still on. Some stew was being made. So, Toris was still cooking. Raivis went over to the knife drawer and opened it. The sharpest knife he could find was a nice 7 inch knife that Raivis had seen Toris only use a couple of times. Raivis chuckled at the irony of Toris losing his life to his own knife.

Raivis held the knife so that he could stab someone in a few seconds if he wanted, no, needed too. He pressed his back to the wall and began to quietly ascend up the steps. Only a few floorboards creaked as he walked as lightly as possible. When he got to the top he looked around the corner. No one was in the hallway. Pressed to the wall again, Raivis walked down the hall, straight to Ivan's room. It wasn't that far away and the door was still opened.

Raivis took a deep breath as he reached the door. He held the knife up in a stabbing kind of motion and went swiftly inside. He was met with the scene he left only a few hours ago. Ivan was still on the bed, blood coming form the opened wound on his neck. The blood had formed a large puddle on the bed and even spilled over onto the floor. Raivis looked around the room but saw no one else.

"Toris!" He shouted, turning his back away form the scene.

There was silence.

"Eduard!" Raivis shouted.

Once more, silence.

Raivis sighed and walked over to the bed. He might as well make sure that Ivan was dead. Upon having that thought, Raivis held up the knife and brought it down on Ivan's back time and time again. By the time he was finished, Ivan's back was stained with blood and a little bit of it was on Raivis' shirt. He didn't care however. Blood was easy to get out when you knew how to do it. Being with Ivan, Raivis knew how to do it.

Raivis left the room after that. He moved silently through the halls, wiping the blood off of his blade and onto one of Ivan's scarves he found in his closet. The house was unusually quiet. Raivis dropped the bloodstained scarf and went directly to Eduard's room. The door was closed. Eduard was home.

Raivis stopped in front of the door and waited a few seconds before opening it. The lights were on. The room was bare except for a bed and a desk for Eduard's laptop. Eduard himself was sitting at his laptop with head phones on. That must have been why he didn't hear Raivis when he shouted. Raivis wasted no time and went over to Eduard. He held his head back and sliced the blade clean across his throat. Blood spurted out and coated the laptop screen. He died immediately.

As Raivis wiped the blade on Eduard's shirt he glanced at the computer screen to see through the blood that Eduard was loudly listening to music and talking with his online boyfriend, Gunnar. Raivis had only met him once before and thought he was an okay guy. Might as well break the news to him.

'Hello, Gunnar, this is Raivis, Eduard's little brother. I'm going to inform you that I have just killed Eduard and am going to kill Toris very soon. Don't bother replying,' Raivis typed.

He waited five minutes and there was no reply. Raivis left the room. He traveled down the steps. The phone next to the staircase began to ring loudly. Raivis was quick to answer.

"Hello?" Raivis asked.

"You're not serious," the voice on the other line said.

It was Gunnar. Raivis smiled.

"I'm very serious, Gunnar. Eduard is dead. By my hands. You know, I could see the terror in his eyes as the blade cut into his throat," Raivis said as if he were talking in a casual conversation.

There was silent for a few seconds.

"You're lying!" Gunnar exclaimed.

"I'll leave you to judge that," Raivis stated.

"You bastard! I'll kill you! You-," and Gunnar continued shouting.

Raivis sighed. He had no time for this.

"Goodbye, Gunnar. I'll see you shortly," he said and hung up.

"Who was it?" A voice asked.

Raivis spun around, knife behind his back. His eyes were met with Toris, still in his cooking apron. He was smiling widely. He must not have discovered Ivan's body yet.

"Oh, it was Gunnar. He just wanted to talk to me for a second," Raivis said.

"About what? I thought Gunnar would only really talk to Eduard," Toris said.

"Well, Eduard's under the weather right now," Raivis said.

Toris turned back to the kitchen.

"Really, what's wrong with him?" He asked.

Raivis snuck up behind Toris and wrapped and arm around his waist.

"He's dead," Raivis whispered.

Before Toris could even react, Raivis plunged the knife into his back, making sure that it hit his spinal cord. Toris fell to the ground immediately after Raivis took his arm away from him. He watched as Toris' eyes stared at him for a few seconds then slowly rolled back. His final breath was a sweet chord played on a harp by the best angel in heaven to Raivis' ears.

Raivis set the knife down on the table next to the phone and left the house. The bitter Russian winter winds beat at Raivis' body and the drying blood.

Raivis ignored it and turned to the large house. He knew that all life had been emptied out of it. Someone just needed to find the bodies now. It wouldn't be long before everyone found out. It wouldn't be long before he was hunted down and killed by the other nations. Raivis decided that he should spend as long as he could with the people he actually cared for.

Raivis left Russia with a smile, not unlike Ivan himself.


	5. Chapter 5

Raivis opened the door to Bewald's house and silently slipped it shut behind him. He tried to be quiet but not quiet enough.

"Raivis!" A voice shouted.

Raivis looked over and saw Peter running straight for him. Instinctively, Raivis grabbed onto Peter's wrist and flipped him over his head and onto his back. Peter gave out a loud cry of pain as his back collided with the floor.

"Oh my god! Peter I'm so sorry!" Raivis said.

"It's okay, ow…," Peter said.

Raivis grabbed his hand and pulled him up.

"What's going on in here?" Tino asked, walking in.

"Nothing, Fin-mama!" Peter shouted out.

"Very well. Play nice you two, Dinner will be done soon," Tino said.

"Thanks, mama!" Peter shouted.

Tino nodded and gave a light wave while walking to the kitchen. Peter turned and Raivis and gave him a large hug.

"I'm glad you're back. I thought you left to go back to Russia for good," he said.

Raivis wrapped his arms around Peter.

"I would never choose Russia over you, Peter. I love you too much," he said.

"I love you too, Raivis," Peter said.

Even though Raivis knew that Peter didn't mean that in the way he wanted him to mean it, it still made him blush deeply and pull Peter ever closer. After a few seconds Peter began to squirm uncomfortably. Raivis pulled himself away from him.

"Peter, are you okay?" He asked.

"I think my back is bruised. It hurts," Peter replied.

"Well, let me see it," Raivis said.

Peter reached for the hem of his shirt and slowly began to pull it up. Raivis stopped him however.

"Not here. You need to be laying down. Let's go to your room," Raivis said.

Peter nodded. Raivis silently cursed at himself for stopping him but he would see a lot more in the bedroom. This, he was certain. Peter and Raivis went into Peter's bedroom. Peter sat down on the bed and took off his shirt.

"Lay on your stomach," Raivis said.

Peter nodded. He laid on his stomach on the bed and put a pillow under his head to get comfy. Raivis waited a few seconds, staring at the expanse of Peter's smooth back. There was a small red mark right in the middle where Peter must have fallen.

Raivis scooted close to Peter and gently began to rub his shoulders. Peter didn't push him away. In fact, he urged him to continue with what he was doing. Raivis smiled and continued to massage Peter's back, being careful of the slowly forming bruise. Without Peter even noticing, Raivis' hands moved lower and lower. Peter squeaked loudly when he felt Raivis' hands lightly rubbing his butt. He felt a little uncomfortable but it felt nice too.

"Do you like that?" Raivis asked, whispering into Peter's ear.

Peter slowly nodded. He blushed deeply at the feel of Raivis' breath against his ear. Raivis smiled as he caught the blush. He was happy that he could make Peter feel like this. He wanted to give him as much joy as possible. Raivis knew exactly how to go about this. Living with Ivan had its up sides. You learned things that you normally wouldn't learn.

Raivis removed his hands from Peter and turned the boy over until he was on his back.

"Rai-"

Peter was cut off by Raivis' soft lips. They pressed hard and passionate to Peter's, exchanging their heat. Peter blushed deeper and shyly kissed back. Raivis felt amused at this and pulled away. He chuckled when Peter had tried to keep their lips connected but failed. Raivis admired Peter's flushed face. He looked cute with the red cheeks.

Raivis connected their lips again, this time forcing Peter's mouth open with his tongue. Peter was very inexperienced and just allowed Raivis to do whatever he wanted. Raivis was quick to explore all of Peter's mouth and soon began to coax him to move his tongue with him. After a little bit, Peter allowed Raivis to slowly teach him.

Raivis pulled away again, both panting heavily now. Peter blushed furiously and turned his head away, feeling embarrassed that Raivis was seeing him like this. Raivis smiled at the action and kissed Peter's neck again. He let out his tongue and grazed in over the exposed flesh. Peter let out a small sound and clutched tightly onto Raivis' clothes. Raivis grinned and pulled Peter's hands off of him, moving his tongue lower until it reached one of Peter's small nipples.

Without giving it a seconds thought, Raivis bit one. Peter cried out, not really sure if it was from pain or pleasure but just knowing that he had to cry out. His hands closed around Raivis', gripping tightly to anything while he tried to suppress his moans.

Raivis let go of the small pink nub and gently massaged it with his tongue, swirling around it and pressing on the top. Peter's back arched and more suppressed moans were heard in the small room. Raivis let go of one of Peter's hands and it immediately went to tangle itself into Raivis' short curly hair.

"Ra-Raivis. What are you doing?" Peter finally asked.

Raivis pulled away from Peter's chest and looked him in the eye. This caused Peter to draw back a bit in fear. Raivis' gaze had changed. A lot. He didn't look like Raivis anymore. He didn't look like the best friend Peter knew and loved. He didn't look like the sweet innocent boy who had run crying to him every chance he could get. Peter knew, the moment he saw that gaze, Raivis was dead. Now, only the ghost of Ivan remained.


	6. Chapter 6

Peter didn't really understand what exactly was happening after Raivis had played with his nipples. He felt Raivis' tongue all over his body, paying special attention to the area between his legs. He heard his own moans without really being aware of making them. He felt Raivis' hands over his body as well. Then, the wet fingers. Inside him. Moving around. Something else. Pain. Turning into pleasure. A tight knot in the pit of his stomach.

"So close," Raivis whispered.

Peter didn't know what he was talking about but knew he was right. With every thrust, the knot grew tighter and tighter until it just couldn't be held back anymore. Spots dotted Peter's vision as he released and was filled at the same time. He fell into unconsciousness.

When Peter awoke, the first thing he felt was pain. The first thing he smelled was smoke. The first thing he saw was Raivis. Raivis was sitting on the edge of the bed, completely clothed, smoking a cigarette. Peter made a small noise. Raivis turned to him. He took a drag of his cigarette and blew out the smoke. It curled around Raivis' face. Peter's eyes widened.

For a second.

Fore just a second.

Ivan was there instead.


End file.
